Ḥayā'
"It is not shame driven. It is a level of consciousness that pulls you and propels you forward."
Nov 2020
The teacher was elucidating the ḥadīth:
إذَا لَمْ تَسْتَحِ فَاصْنَعْ مَا شِئْت
Abu Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allāh ﷺ said, “Verily, among the words people obtained from the prophets are this: If you feel no shame, do as you wish.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3296
We often hear this ḥadīth solely in the context of physical modesty. It is often used to admonish women, in particular. I was expecting something related to clothing and speech, but what followed was quite different.
The teacher sighed and said he was thinking of his teacher last night, and how much the teacher has done for the dīn. "I was reflecting within myself and felt this shyness. What have I done for the dīn?"
Whilst explaining "what is ḥayā'?" he mentioned: "It is not shame driven. It is a level of consciousness that pulls you and propels you forward."
He mentioned that for a student, ḥayā’ could be completing homework with excellence as one would not like for it to be in a poor state.
A wife's behaviour
He mentioned the story of ʿUmar (RʿA). A man came to the house of ʿUmar (RʿA) intending to seek counsel regarding difficulties he was having with his wife. When he approached the house, he overheard ʿUmar's wife speaking with him harshly. The man left. ʿUmar (RʿA) called him back and asked why he had come. The man explained,
'‘I came to complain to you about my wife’s behavior but when I heard your wife’s words I returned."
ʿUmar (RʿA) began to list what his wife does for him, how she cares for him and takes care of his affairs. He did not speak ill of her. The teacher mentioned that arguably, this was ḥayā' from ʿUmar (RʿA). The teacher advised us to overlook what we may dislike from our spouse or family members, as they do so much for us.
We continued reading and he told us excitedly that he was going to tell us an anecdote. Perhaps it would have been a humorous story, from the way he prefaced it. We then came upon an āyah in the text. After reciting it, he said he felt shy to explain his anecdote; he left it for another time.